first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
