who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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