i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
