I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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