why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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