God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
