He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
