Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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