I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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