I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
