I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
