Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
