They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This toilet bowl is my home.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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