I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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