So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
