And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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