do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
