You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
