dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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