Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
