Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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