do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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