sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
