I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I supernannyed him into submission
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
