I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
