oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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