Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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