please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
