This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
