cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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