I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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