I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
