WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
