oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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