Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
