i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
