Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
