wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
