I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
