Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
