all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
