so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
