Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
