Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
