I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
