She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
