i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize