she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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