I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
