Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
