sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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