this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize