We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
PANTIES FOUND
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