I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
