ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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