Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
ttyl tear gas
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
