Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
