Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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