whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
did you just send me my own nude
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
