You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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